Report on Manasarovar program at
Narasingapuram October 10th-12th
Abhyasi Name: Harish Subraya
Woke up at 2:15 AM after a deep sleep. Walked around
the mango grove and watched the stars in the clear
sky, as there was some moon light. I was trying to
locate some constellations and north star when a
thought came up as to how our ancestors knew the
time when there were no instruments to measure time.
Wondered whether they studied the movement of stars
related to earth and thereby measured time during
night. During morning meditation at 3:30AM, felt a
complete absorption. After the meditation, started
pondering over the feeling that all this nature
loses its significance when the primary existence of
self itself is lost temporarily during meditation.
Thoughts about what remains after losing one's own
existence? Is it total ignorance?
During the day, lying down on the couch under the
tree went into a deep sleep for sometime. Looking
directly at rising sun, saw many number of sun's
with different colors, mainly blue and crimson. This
illusion of colors and numbers reminded that
colorlessness is the truth as pointed by Master. By
observing continuously, colored suns went away
indicating persistent sadhana would reveal the
truth. Meditated under the trees. After one of the
absorbing meditations, there was a feeling that
Pranahuti is the only way for the ultimate unalloyed
love. There is also a feeling that importance of
nature is only as conducive to sadhana, but the
actual awakening is only internal. I slept early as
I was feeling sleepy.
Woke up at 4 AM. During morning meditation, felt
absorbed towards the end. Since morning thoughts of
the past related to desires were coming up. It went
into a little bit of brooding and into some chain of
thoughts. Master as the only savior is felt.
Attended to cleaning for almost half an hour and
then felt light. Meditated again for almost half an
hour and felt the sweetness of the divine.
After sometime, new thoughts from the past were
coming. Then it switched into thoughts on
liberation, freedom from bondage etc. Attended to
cleaning and later meditation. Now, I was feeling
light. Did assiduous cleaning again in the evening
and felt very light. Lied down on the stone bench
and felt very subtle current was flowing through the
body. Later it was very subtle and light feeling.
During bedtime prayer, felt very repentant for the
wrongs done and resolution was there.
Got up at 4 AM. During morning meditation, some
moments of absorption was felt. Sat for satsangh/meditation
at 8AM under a mango tree. There was couple of
moments where it was completely absorbing for around
15-20 minutes each, losing complete awareness.
Later, Gratefulness to Master was felt. Thoughts
came up regarding the purpose of life as we feel the
non-existence of self during meditation. Purpose
felt like similar to that of a running machine which
runs for the benefit of others. Service with
disregard to self on the heels of Revered Babuji and
our masters came as an answer. Also concerned that
how many meditations do we need before putting into
practice? I could observe more seriousness about the
goal developing. Felt total absorption with
unawareness again during the next couple of
meditations. Felt almost for an hour after the
meditation that I can't talk except anything but
silence. Lightness was very predominant. Also
observed that the thoughts that came yesterday, even
if they come, no weight is felt.
Heard a cow boy shouting at cow herd continuously
and curiously went and observed. Saw that he was
simply shouting sitting at one place. This made me
feel that he is inducing fear consciousness to the
cows so that they don't cross the boundaries.
Thought that some of our blind beliefs etc.
inherited or enforced by surroundings have the same
effect on us. Felt grateful to Master for getting us
out of these bondages.
During sleep in the night, had a dream in which I
was mistakenly been a target involving some violence
and fear. In the end everything got resolved when
the mistake was understood by proper communication.
I want to thank Revered Sir and Imperience for
allowing me to participate in this program which I
feel is highly beneficial. The food served by hosts
Dr. Rajashekhar Reddygaru and Sister Bhargavi were
fully natural and benefited us by keeping the body
more pure. One thing I observed is that during this
time the hunger was very less.