Imperience - Centre for Research and Training in P.A.M
M A N A S A R O V A R   R E P O R T S

10-12 Oct 08, Narasingapuram. Report submitted by Sri Harish Subraya


Report on Manasarovar program at Narasingapuram October 10th-12th

Abhyasi Name: Harish Subraya

Oct 10th:

Woke up at 2:15 AM after a deep sleep. Walked around the mango grove and watched the stars in the clear sky, as there was some moon light. I was trying to locate some constellations and north star when a thought came up as to how our ancestors knew the time when there were no instruments to measure time. Wondered whether they studied the movement of stars related to earth and thereby measured time during night. During morning meditation at 3:30AM, felt a complete absorption. After the meditation, started pondering over the feeling that all this nature loses its significance when the primary existence of self itself is lost temporarily during meditation. Thoughts about what remains after losing one's own existence? Is it total ignorance?

During the day, lying down on the couch under the tree went into a deep sleep for sometime. Looking directly at rising sun, saw many number of sun's with different colors, mainly blue and crimson. This illusion of colors and numbers reminded that colorlessness is the truth as pointed by Master. By observing continuously, colored suns went away indicating persistent sadhana would reveal the truth. Meditated under the trees. After one of the absorbing meditations, there was a feeling that Pranahuti is the only way for the ultimate unalloyed love. There is also a feeling that importance of nature is only as conducive to sadhana, but the actual awakening is only internal. I slept early as I was feeling sleepy.

Oct 11th:

Woke up at 4 AM. During morning meditation, felt absorbed towards the end. Since morning thoughts of the past related to desires were coming up. It went into a little bit of brooding and into some chain of thoughts. Master as the only savior is felt. Attended to cleaning for almost half an hour and then felt light. Meditated again for almost half an hour and felt the sweetness of the divine.

After sometime, new thoughts from the past were coming. Then it switched into thoughts on liberation, freedom from bondage etc. Attended to cleaning and later meditation. Now, I was feeling light. Did assiduous cleaning again in the evening and felt very light. Lied down on the stone bench and felt very subtle current was flowing through the body. Later it was very subtle and light feeling. During bedtime prayer, felt very repentant for the wrongs done and resolution was there.

Oct 12th:

Got up at 4 AM. During morning meditation, some moments of absorption was felt. Sat for satsangh/meditation at 8AM under a mango tree. There was couple of moments where it was completely absorbing for around 15-20 minutes each, losing complete awareness. Later, Gratefulness to Master was felt. Thoughts came up regarding the purpose of life as we feel the non-existence of self during meditation. Purpose felt like similar to that of a running machine which runs for the benefit of others. Service with disregard to self on the heels of Revered Babuji and our masters came as an answer. Also concerned that how many meditations do we need before putting into practice? I could observe more seriousness about the goal developing. Felt total absorption with unawareness again during the next couple of meditations. Felt almost for an hour after the meditation that I can't talk except anything but silence. Lightness was very predominant. Also observed that the thoughts that came yesterday, even if they come, no weight is felt.

Heard a cow boy shouting at cow herd continuously and curiously went and observed. Saw that he was simply shouting sitting at one place. This made me feel that he is inducing fear consciousness to the cows so that they don't cross the boundaries. Thought that some of our blind beliefs etc. inherited or enforced by surroundings have the same effect on us. Felt grateful to Master for getting us out of these bondages.

During sleep in the night, had a dream in which I was mistakenly been a target involving some violence and fear. In the end everything got resolved when the mistake was understood by proper communication.

I want to thank Revered Sir and Imperience for allowing me to participate in this program which I feel is highly beneficial. The food served by hosts Dr. Rajashekhar Reddygaru and Sister Bhargavi were fully natural and benefited us by keeping the body more pure. One thing I observed is that during this time the hunger was very less.