Imperience - Centre for Research and Training in P.A.M
M A N A S A R O V A R   R E P O R T S

20-22 Nov 09, Narasingapuram. Report submitted by Sri Bharath. R


I am very happy to have participated in the Chit Lake Program held at Narasingapuram, Tirupati in the month of November.

Once the program commenced, I felt very determined to ignore all the thoughts that come and try to stay on the thought of divine light in my heart. For the first one hour, I was able to successfully do it. After that, there was blankness and the mind did not get any inputs. I felt happy that I was able to succeed very soon and that I can enjoy the silence for the 3 days. But on the contrary, the mind chatter again started. Whatever I see, the mind was trying to form some chain of thoughts all the time. This behavior of my mind really tested my patience. For the whole of the first day, I was patiently putting up with the chatter of the mind. Towards the end of the day, I was little obsessed with my mind that I am not able to feel the silence. Later I realized that the real purpose of chit lake program is not just to feel the silence but to know what is there inside us so that we can get rid of them. 

Some of the hindrances that I felt I need to get rid of are given below.  

1.   Many times, I felt obsessed with the idea of ego. Then a thought triggered to me that instead of thinking about how to get rid of the idea of self, I need to carry the thought of the Master in all my actions and slowly the idea of self will automatically vanish.  

2.   During this program, there were many superfluous thoughts as well and when tried to go deep into them, I felt that I attach myself too much to even petty things. I also felt I need to revisit my purification process.  

3.   I felt myself comparing with others, not specific to Sadhana, but in many other matters. The idea of comparison comes because either I felt superior or inferior to others which is incorrect. A thought triggered to me that it is the individual network that I created which was giving inputs to compare. Once this individual network is shattered, then I will be able to see only divine in others and there is no question of comparison. I also felt this is the play of the mind and only when we give divine inputs, whatever we do will be in tune with the divine. I was also reminded of the Masters thought that "When we breed divine thoughts, the mind will grasp it because that is the real nature of the mind". There was a strong feeling in me that I have got to follow these instructions if I have to mould myself.  

4.   I felt that I should not hurt anyone's feelings and that I should give proper respect to elders. There were times when I used to get into arguments. When I tried to go deeper into this problem, I felt that I may be at fault and so I need to repent for the same during the bed time prayer. Even I think the other person is wrong, I should only pray for him and not get into unnecessary arguments that disturb the harmony. I sincerely felt that this was very essential to bring moderation in speech.

5.   I also felt the need to revisit all my meditational practices and my posture and be more sincere in my Sadhana.  

There were few dreams about my office colleagues with whom I was more attached.

Towards the end of the program, I felt lightness and happiness vividly.  Felt Reverence for Rev. KCN sir.  

I am grateful to Rev. Sir, Imperience, Sister Bhargavi Reddy and Dr. Rajasekar Reddy for my participation in this program. I am confident I will be able to overcome the difficulties that I felt in my Sadhana during the program.