Abhyasi Name: Sri.
Abhyasi ID : 248
Practicing Since: 11th April 1993
Morning meditation: 6.30 to 7.30 Am
Point B: 10 min
Once sat for meditation it was a feeling of freedom, not confined to the walls any more but it was also difficult to handle since lot of thoughts pouring in may be out of anxiety, due to new place or the newly got freedom due to natural environs some sort of tension with some eager expectation, not clear.
Observed yellow color with orange after that and then a mixture of orange and white and it was just white, but yellow was predominant.
Thoughts related to distant past and present started pouring in , it was a wonder all these days I stored these, they are not disturbing yet trash and just ignored, and I observed between two thoughts there was a gap in between, it was like blank space with thoughts of insignificant in nature. Thoughts related to friends, college came, no thoughts related to work and family I observed. May be now and then but not so serious.
But it's a great feeling I am here where I belong to as the ancient one who meditated for god or something higher in some deep forest, I belong to that and this is the real purpose and my original nature.
Meditated from 12 to 12.30 noon and observed yellow with tinge of orange color.
A buffalo is staring at me as if it is ready to charge, may be it is also curious about us and I felt it is questioning WHO ARE YOU INTRUDER.
At 1 pm went back for lunch and had some fruits, nuts, buttermilk and came back and slept while gazing at the sky and in the evening carried out cleaning. At 6 pm we retired to rooms and from 6.30 to 7 Pm meditated. At 9 Pm prayer. At 9.30 after bedtime prayer retired to bed.
A day of partial excitement, confusion and may be something unknown feeling, overall thoughts were there with long gaps in between only stillness or shall I conclude just blank. Most thoughts are about movie related, less of office and home.
Morning meditation: 6.05 to 6.55 am
Point B: 10 min
Woke up at 4 am since I could not sleep much as dreams are pouring out regarding some childhood memories pertaining to village etc.
At 6 .05 we were under the tree for meditation it continued upto 6.55 am. The feeling felt was utter silence in tune with surroundings, more relaxed, more comfortable and at ease.
- Observed clusters of small flower like things or are they some flowers like diamond stones violet in color and turning to maroon and like a sheet of flowers spread all around arranged together, it was repeated twice or thrice the same sequence.
- After meditation felt like sleeping and slept, I woke up after two hours and I had a dream in which brother raghava, viswanadth and self were there and they are talking about center, and in the center it will be like floating in water/air and I felt that I talked the same thing with sir long back and IT WAS JUST A DREAM. After I woke up I was wondering what is this dream about and felt very light and sat for meditation for 1 hour with complete silent with the color of the dawn and the strong feeling is that this is where I belong to…… silence. I just stared at the grey sky and there is only stillness and it was just blank.
- Looking at the mango trees I felt they are there for the past say 10 years in the same place and they are what they are, all the trees around me are connected to the base or mother earth and each has its own distinctiveness and may be they bear fruit accordingly though they are connected to the mother earth ,nourished as per its requirements I felt they are not comparing, complaining and they are happy seeking nothing, no expectation, no wants just happy with themselves, a sort of contentment is felt may be because they are connected with the BASE and we are also product of the same being lost touch with our BEING, claiming to be individuals with distorted image of our own and may be the tree is blessed since it does not have brains ? Connect to our base firmly and be still and what we deserve we get and with our own capacities we shall stand and express the divinity as he wanted. I do not understand why I never thought about the greatness of a tree all these years and though I may sound bombastic it is 100% truth. ALWAYS CONNECT WITH THE BEING AND BE STILL AND ACCEPT IN TOTO. May be it is difficult with all the distractions but not impossible.
- OH it was too much to handle I think my purpose is served and I got the answer and it was so much of happiness which is bubbling out.
Brother Srihari and self went to fetch some fruits by the time we came back that buffalo trampled my mat, sniffed and after seeing us it ran and started staring at me, we both saw a snake skin and yes today more silent is felt than yesterday and I felt more emptiness.
Just beside the mango grove a small rivulet called Kinnerasani was flowing, along with sri Rama rao,brothers srinivas raju, srihari,viswanadth and self went there and sat for around one and half hour.
A river like LIFE moves on and it reminds us of the dynamism called life which is ever restless to reach the destination, may be the same thing is applicable to us to have the same restlessness to reach the destination our goal our master.
After evening cleaning we went back to the room since Christian songs are in full swing.
Evening at 6.30 to 7 pm sat for meditation and at 9.0 pm prayer and after bedtime prayer retired for bed.
The heart filled with joy and it is just uncontrollable with happy feeling just oozing out.
Morning meditation: 6.05 to 6.50 am.
Point B: 10 min.
Today we went straight to the bank of kinnerasani and sat for meditation. From 6.05 to 6.50 am. After that watched sunrise in its entire splendor. Took a long walk along the bank of the river and enjoyed the river flow with the gurgling sound of the river turning at a point.
- Thoughts have subsided but thoughts are there and there is vast emptiness between them.
- After 12 to 12.30 noon meditation.
- The buffalo what I mentioned earlier again came and it was staring at me, may be it was afraid due to my red color bag, I covered my seat mat and kept the bag on the tree out of reach and came to srihari's place watching the buffalo. It came at the seat sniffed all round the mat, we both are watching with amusement, after a while it left the place staring at us and it was just standing ready for a charge.
- Around 4pm to 4.30 pm meditation was silent with vast sheet of greyness all around like the clouded sky.
After evening cleaning we came back to room. All of us went to see the guava garden 'Sriramchandra Krupa Dhamamu' and the other mango groove which is little far off from the village. Here it was more like a forest and the mango trees are bigger and more shade is there.
We retired to bed after 9.0 pm prayer and bed time prayer.